Sorry for at dette er på engelsk. Er egentlig postet på Deviantart. Ville bare høre om noen hadde noe å si om dette, her.
I just have a question for all of you guys here. So the case is, my boyfriend does not care about my art. It’s not that he think it’s ugly or horrible or anything, he just does not care. Does that sound horrible to you? At least, for me, it does. Although I’m not sure why.
It’s not like I need him telling me that it’s fabulous or anything I just want him to care. I just want so enthusiastic comments on my drawing. I want him to be able to tell me honestly, while caring, if I’m heading the right or the wrong way with my drawing. I’m not sure if there is such a “rule” which says; Your boyfriend has to like your drawings, blab la bla. I’m searching for the reason of why I feel this way.
Somehow, the fact that he does not care at all, makes me really… Sad and depressed. I have been working my whole life, to achieve something with my drawings, and I’m still working on it. Then my other half, actually does not care at all about my art? It makes me feel somehow empty and that I’m struggling alone. And it’s also an extremely down push for me, in my way to somewhere with my art.
If a person, who is not my family or “my other half” , don’t care about my art; I really don’t care, because he’s not going to support me for what I’m struggling for. It’s not that my boyfriend is not supporting me if I would get a job as an artist, it’s just that; something you’ve considered being over 50% of your life, ever since you could hold a pencil, is all of a sudden not appreciated by “your other half”. And then again, it feels like you boyfriend does not care about a big part of you, and what you keep struggling for every day by just breathing, looking, seeing and hearing. I mean, I spend 60 % of my day thinking how to solve an artistic problem, or how to get better or how to make my art reach new heights. And then somebody thinks that what you live for, is nothing but bullshit.
That leads to me, feeling like… I’m bullshit.
It was this other episode, living here in Japan, where I’ve taken Pottery courses for 3 months, and finally comes home with the dishes I’ve made. And then he reacts. Like it was something of the greatest things he had ever seen. And it actually hurts. That something, I consider bullshit ( Since I’ve been doing this, without struggling for it, without trying to achieve anything in my life. And I’ve only, ONLY, been doing that for 3 months. And btw, I’m not saying pottery itself is bullshit- I meant to say that I didn’t put my whole life and heart in to making pottery) is highly appreciated, while something I’ve spent my life on is considered as… nothing?!
I’m not saying that my boyfriend is a horrible person. Because he is not. I do understand that he’s just not interested in art, and don’t have an eye for it. But, I just feel so horrible, to be honest. So unappreciated. And I think it’s hard to live with the fact that I can’t feel I get the “right” support to keep on struggling for getting my art somewhere.
I would love to hear what some of you people think about this. Does anybody have the same experience, and how do you handle that?
Can anybody make me see things from another angle, or make me understand somehow?
And does this somehow tell you more about “if you’re meant to be or not”? As an artist, could you spend the rest of your life with a person who does not care or understand you art?
And I don’t want any comments like; “Your boyfriend is horrible” “mean” “what a bastard” etc. That’s not the goal with me asking all these questions.
I just want to get a little wiser, and be able to understand, or see things in a different perspective.